Lieutenant Salt's Angsty Spades Bar Trio

A Confession

2005-07-30T19:16:00.000-07:00

I know I've not been posting very much in here. Very little. Nothing at all. I admit I am guilty of joining another site (waaaaaa). Myspace.com has taken over...no!!!

I will probably eventually come back here, or just post here from time to time, but I can't guarantee it. I'm sorry all!!!

Or, if I can get the flash on my camera working again, this may become my photo blog. Will get right on it!

A list

2005-06-25T11:49:00.000-07:00

So.

My dad is an asshole.
I am starving because I can't afford to go out and get food.
My room is looking perky because Brenna is running out of room to keep the flowers that one of the guys that she is dating is constantly bringing her.
My computer is back. (Hallelujah!)
The Dateless One came to the conclusion that she's not into this going-out-meeting-strangers-and-dating-them thing.
The Dateless One is now scrambling for nice ways to turn down dates.
My room is now clean. (Cleanish. I need to take the garbage out and finish with my closet and organize my books. And vacuum.)
Job hunting.
Apartment hunting will soon follow (see bullet #1).
College hunting will follow at some point (I'm liking the idea of going away again).
No kitchen. No sewing room. Nowhere to bring people to sit down if they visit my house other than the beds of my sister and me.
Eleven sugar-free months.
I will be twenty-one in exactly one month and I have no idea what I'll do the day of.
And I'm writing a novel in one month. Don't ask, it's too painful.

And that's some of my life right now. It's a lot more complicated than that, as there are a number of things I can't post on the net and/or just can't remember right now 'cause I'm floating in a weird haze. But I'm back. And I might post every now and then.

Nnnnn...kill me now.

UPDATE: Huzzah for frozen Mexican pot roast! All better...

UPDATE: Not all better. I have chased all my readers away through not posting. May the fires of a thousand hells fall on my head and burn off my eyelashes and disfigure my better features. Also, I am having a cup of milk for dinner. 'Cause I ate the pot roast. Maybe I could have coffee for dinner? Too expensive.

UPDATE: Alternative solution. I could just go out on one of these date things and get the guy to pay for my food.

UPDATE: No. Dating is mercenary. This goes against the very grain of my personality. I cannot do it! My integrity will make me die someday.

EDIT: The word "integrity" in the previous sentence should be replaced with "stubbornness." I have a false sense of self-righteousness in this matter. Which shall now be dropped. As shall this post.

Lately

2005-04-17T09:53:00.000-07:00

So bad about updating...

OK, my computer is not turning on. Again. Grr. But that really doesn't excuse me from not writing in here, does it?

What's happened? My sister broke up with her boyfriend and was weeping constantly, but now she's okay and is back to being twitterpated with this other guy (I'm SO glad she got that whole mess straightened out mostly now) and had a blood blister on her eardrum that burst. I'm crazy/busy with school (20 hours plus tutoring this guy who has only been in the U.S. for a couple of weeks now, originally from Vietnam; it's really special explaining psychology to him, but he's got a pretty good English lexicon going for him) and am going to help my sister house-sit for her boss, which includes making the house look lived-in and checking the mail. Of course, this is the mailbox from hell. It absolutely will not open. Nnnn...

That was a terrible paragraph.

Bonnie and Courtney and I have a production company now. I'm not sure I want to publish our name for it just yet, as somebody might (!!!) STEAL it. But it's pretty awesome. Now we just need to make movies. Yeah.

Bellydancing is a lot of fun. Shimmy shimmy shimmy twist circle figure-eight oh crap my hip scarf fell off.

Bonnie and I stayed up late last night watching the second half of the extended edition of The Two Towers. It was really great. We took almost every single bloody line and twisted it into sexual innuendo. For the lines that that didn't work, orgasmic screaming sufficed. Erick left early; we think he got scared. What took the cake was this:

How much time do you
need?
However much you can give
me!

And of course lots of things about blowing horns and showing your quality and fun times. What else do people talk about when it gets late? :)

In other news, I'm eating more vegetables.

And there's a rat in my dad's bedroom.

And my co-worker gave me the cutest little gnome-creature. It's sitting with its chin on its crossed arms on its knees. I named him Ralph.

OK, Bonnie you just exited your dressing parlor and I'm going to go read more of my Stephen King novel.

Have a good day everyone!

Procrastinating

2005-04-09T08:24:00.000-07:00

I don't want to write about anything serious this morning, so here's a little clue-in to my thought processes:

I was looking at the costume I made for this skit tomorrow and was thinking of how much I like costuming.
Next I thought of how I would design clothes for my paper dolls as a child, sometimes copying from pictures in magazines and doll catalogues.
I am really glad that my parents never bought me an American Girl Doll (much as I sighed for one at the time) because it would surely have gotten broken or something.
A lot of my dolls had things happen to them. I would cut their hair and dress them in weird things (like rubber bands) and bits of their bodies would come off. Or they would get glue on them.
I had Aladdin and Jasmine barbie dolls once. Aladdin's head wasn't manufactured very well, so it would keep coming off. I would try to take Jasmine's head off so that they would match.
I'm really glad (and other people probably are, too) that I'm not queen of a country somewhere. "Off with his head! Wait, he was married? Bring his wife! Aw, they'll look so cute..."
In the Mikado, if a married man is beheaded, his wife must be buried alive.
I really really really don't want to be buried alive.
Neither did the Victorians.
I learned that from Michael Crichton. His book "State of Fear" isn't nearly as good as most of his others.
I'm not a very good writer.
I need to write more in order to become better.
Dude! I'm sitting at my computer typing. Maybe I should write a story.
Maybe later.

Just one example of how everything I do leads to procrastinating about something.

Happy Easter!

2005-03-27T20:24:00.000-08:00

This morning Dad and I drove forty minutes to attend the church of some family friends (as in, the husband is the pastor). He's so joyful when he preaches! And he preaches the Word of God, not some sappy email forward ;p. It was very encouraging to see them.

My mom and sister went to separate services in Oregon yesterday evening. Mom went to visit a long-time friend of hers, and my sister went to visit one of her college roommates. We were all split up this Easter, but it was okay. Dad gave them chocolate, but I got a Starbucks gift card: mwahaha!

I also went to visit my grandparents this afternoon. My grandma has been recovering from a surgery she had just last week; she had a stent (stents?) put in at the back of her head. We were so worried about her. Grandpa has been an angel waiting on her hand and foot. He left the house for the first time since it this morning. I think they really like seeing me. We just chatted about what I've been up to and watched the Virginia vs. Michigan State game. Two overtimes! I don't follow sports at all, but that call that they made on that 3-pointer...whoa. I think it was correct, but I wouldn't want to have to decide anything like that ;p.

I spent the evening eating tacos and visiting with Mom when she dropped by (when she wasn't criticizing the state of the house...it's not like anybody in the family knows how to clean anything...oi oi oi), followed up by reading the books of Amos and Obadiah. An image that stuck with me is:

"Behold, the days are coming," declares the Lord,
"when the plowman shall overtake the reaper
and the treader of grapes him who sows the seed;
the mountains shall drip sweet wine,
and all the hills shall flow with it.
Amos 9:13 ESV

I see this little old movie thing playing in my head featuring a plowman moving at appropriately fast old movie speed tripping over this guy trying to harvest grain and them getting in an argument and shoving each other back and forth. And some guy sowing seed that really really quickly sprouts into grape vines that Lucille Ball, rushing around like a madwoman, is trying to stomp.

I got some serious things out of my Bible study! Really! Okay: check these out with the crucifixion in mind:

The Lord has sworn by the pride of Jacob:
"Surely I will never forget any of their deeds.
Shall not the land tremble on this account,
and everyone mourn who dwells in it,
and all of it rise like the Nile,
and be tossed about and sink again,
like the Nile of Egypt?"
"And on that day," declares the Lord God,
"I will make the sun go down at noon
and darken the earth in broad daylight.
Amos 8:7-9 ESV

Earthquakes, darkness, check. And here are a couple of verses that we tend to forget about (in context, mentioned right after the temple curtain is torn in twain at Christ's death):

The tombs were also opened. And many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised, and coming out of the tombs after his resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many.
Matthew 27:52-53 RSV

I don't know about you, but I'd be pretty freaked ;p.

"Guitar!"

2005-03-26T20:24:00.000-08:00

Alright, I didn't go see Nobody Knows yesterday. And today...what did I do today? Hmm. Nothing. Unless you count mopping up something very nasty and green and yellow in the kitchen. And doing math puzzles. Wow I'm bored.

Apparently I was forced to use this laptop at some point in the past, as I found a collection of music on it (back in those good old Audiogalaxy days, my my). I really don't remember going through that much of a doo wop phase, but there's plenty here. That and Alan Sherman, Frank Sinatra, Lea Salonga, and--oh yeah--Salt n Pepa. You know I'm tired when I tell you that Shoop is the most brilliant song ever.

Went out and bought a pattern for my bellydancing costume. Bonnie, I need to consult with you about that. Weee! Belly rolls!

Del Vikings, Come Go With Me...Rrrrr...

When I was out in my car endangering the general populace a song came on that made me giddy: The Darkness, I Believe in a Thing Called Love. There's nothing like squealing "Guitar!" like that guy and scaring my cat. Bouncy bouncy bouncy la la la!

Nnnn

2005-03-25T08:29:00.000-08:00

Wow! I'm actually posting! I'm on my dad's dial-up, however. I should be celebrating my computer Ellis' homecoming any day now...I miss her so much.

What's new? I'm on spring break and am incredibly bored. I find that I am unable to sleep when it's light out, so I wake up around 5 frequently. I tried staying up really late to see if that would help me sleep in, and it really didn't. Meh.

It's really nice to be able to just lie around doing nothing, but there are some letters that I have to send out at work that require me to go in at least a little every day. I think I'm going to take the supplies home to change that. I looked at my school's schedule, and my classes don't start until April 4. Two reactions: YESSSS!!! and What am I going to do for another week?

I'm going to go see Nobody Knows this afternoon, as it has finally come to town. I hate how so many of the movies I want to see are in so few locations...Grr.

2005-03-04T16:32:00.000-08:00

Hot and Hamletted

2005-03-02T20:13:00.000-08:00

I am boiling to death in my room and I have to write a paper. An easy paper and a short, but not a comfortable thing. Is there anything good that I can say about Hamlet 2000? Not very much. Laertes was excellent, and everyone else was dreadful (except for maybe Gertrude). Surprisingly, Ethan Hawke pulled off one of the better of the bad performances and Bill Murray the worst. I think the director vaguely thought that the media and technology splashed everywhere in the film would emphasize the play's existentialism, but it really doesn't. I would write about the characterization, but there is so little to point to. Ngaahh.

I spent my commutes to and from school learning Japanese for no particular reason (good old Pimsleur) and the afternoon drilling DDR routines into my legs. I really wish they hadn't included "YMCA" on DDR Extreme. I've got it stuck in my head now. Grr...

Write my paper now and then go to bed? Go DDR some more, sleep, and then write the paper in the morning? That last one but skipping the DDR? Read some more of the latest novel I've started? Can't make up my mind.

Whatever I do, I want my bloody room to cool down.

Dirty Scrabble

2005-03-01T20:02:00.000-08:00

On Sunday we had my sister's birthday party. Out of quite a few fun activities that day (including some lies/truth game, the family game, and ddr), we played--oh yes--dirty scrabble. Click on the picture to get a better look at the board if you fancy. Just a note: our rules included that (a) spelling doesn't count as long as everybody gets the idea and (b) the invention of new words is allowed as long as a definition is provided. My favourite new word is "gloxing"--and I think I'm too embarassed to post the definition I came up with for it :).

Very very fun. And I gave her two CDs as a gift: Louis XIV and Flogging Molly. She was ecstatic, as I hoped and knew she would be. But the next time I looked at her face she was weeping. She had gone out for lunch with Mum on her b-day and had been crying during that as well. She's going through a great deal; I mean, both of us are, but she's got added complications with her romantic life and whatnot.

I've been putting off calling my mom. I just hate talking to her sometimes, and it's nothing to do with the divorce. Also, my dad (who is also my boss) still hasn't given me my W2 yet.

*tearing my hair out*

Just kidding. And wootness--I'm getting A's on the hardest difficulty level on the slowest song on DDR Extreme! Yay! Er...it's only a six-footer, but...feeling very puffed up. Should invite somebody better than me over to humble me a bit ;p.

Gentlemen's Legs

2005-03-01T19:56:00.000-08:00

The boys. Er, the boys and a girl. Who was a boy. Sort of.

Jimmy, Erick, Ryan, Robin.

Ladies' Legs

2005-03-01T19:54:00.000-08:00

Pretty self-explantory.

Courtney, Katie (have no idea if I'm spelling her name right), Bonnie, moi!

Group Shot

2005-03-01T19:50:00.000-08:00

And here's the standard group oh-well-we're-mostly-smiling shot. I really wish you could see everyone's costumes better, they were Excellent, but I didn't take so many close-up pictures, nor does the flash on my camera work yet.

Alright, back row first: Erick, Courtney, Bonnie, me, Jimmy, Robin. Front row: Katie and Ryan, playing a married couple and real-life boyfriend and girlfriend. Everyone say "Awwww..."

Around the Rocks the Rugged Rascal Ran

2005-03-01T19:45:00.000-08:00

Alright, alright...I know it's been forever since I'm posted. I'm sorry. I took many many pictures this weekend and I've been deciding which ones to post; no excuse at all, I know. This one here is chosen for being the best shot of my 3-hour hairdo that I have. Bonnie here is not in her costume yet, but that will debut in some of my other photos. Lovely 1930s hair, neh? ;p Hard as a rock...a wavy rock...

Bumper Sticker(s)

2005-02-24T22:27:00.000-08:00

Alrighty, I felt like posting some photos of bumper stickers. My sister's and mine, as a matter of fact. Too bad the pictures are so dark...my flash isn't going off for some reason. Anyhoo, I like this one. It's my sister's. She speaks Russian and knows at least one person who works for the mafia. It makes her giggle.

Last Virgin in America

2005-02-24T22:24:00.000-08:00

"Last Virgin in America" in Russian. Just beautiful. This is my sister's as well. I thought about buying one of these, too, but that would be a tad contradictory, wouldn't it?

Aragorn/Faramir 2004

2005-02-24T22:22:00.000-08:00

And here is my lonely little bumper sticker. I haven't decided whether or not I should remove it now that the election is over. Re-vote! Nooooooooo...make it stop...

The Sign of the Chimp

2005-02-24T18:10:00.000-08:00

The first chimpanzee to be taught American Sign Language is Washoe, right here in this state at Central Washington University. My anthro prof was telling us anecdotes that he's gotten about Washoe and Koko, that famous gorilla who can sign as well.

One day one of Washoe's trainers was wrestling with her a bit, and Washoe got a little carried away with the excitement, peeing all over him. As he stood up, completely covered in urine, she rolled around signing the word for "funny" over and over again.

Koko was being shown some pictures for a demonstration, and was apparently getting bored. Then she was shown a picture of herself, and was asked, "What is this?"

She signed, "A gorilla."

"Who is the gorilla?"

"It is a bird."

"What is a bird?"

"I am a bird."

"Are you a bird?"

"No, you are a bird. Me gorilla."

"I am a bird?"

"You are a nut."

"What do you mean I'm a nut?"

"Nut, nut, nut, nut, nut." Koko then wandered away and began to sign to herself, "Damn I'm good. Good one, Koko."

In discussing whether these animals really understand the words that they are using, my professor introduced us to the concept of productivity; or, whether the user of the language can make up a new word which makes sense. When Washoe was given a watermelon to eat, she didn't know the word for it, so she referred to it as a "drink fruit." Koko, on seeing somebody don a mask, coined the term "eye hat", and came up with "finger bracelet" to describe a ring. So, it would seem that these animals really do understand the concepts of language, although syntax takes a long time to be learned (syntax is innate in humans, we have a "Universal Grammar").

In other random information, chimpanzees who can sign seem to consider themselves far superior to chimpanzees who cannot.

Fascinating. Well, I think so.

Kitschy kitschy ya-ya, da-da!

2005-02-23T21:54:00.000-08:00

I got to hang out with my friends Raissa and Sara today! Woot! We are the queens of Kitschy, and we celebrated our Kitschyness by colouring fuzzy posters all evening! Exclamation mark!

Perhaps the #1 movie I am looking forward to this year: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

The amount of kettle corn I have consumed today is irrational.

I am ecstatic-happy because this week in anthropology we're looking at linguistics! My favourite!

Speaking of linguistics, read this. A great layman's guide to linguistics that I encountered years ago as a young Tolkien enthusiast. It will never let me go...

Huzzah for blogging nakie! Unfortunately, I have no anecdotes to relate, nor any amusing photos. Perhaps tomorrow will be better.

And btw, is it a little freaky that while I am "Jane" most of my commenters are "Jen," "John," and "James"?

2005-02-22T20:57:00.000-08:00

Don't ask.

2005-02-22T20:55:00.000-08:00

Don't tell.

Mixed Renaissance Can-Can...Yeah

2005-02-22T20:11:00.000-08:00

Here we are, a bit off-center...Bonnie, me, Courtney, and Robin before heading off to Ren Faire and gettin really really sunburned on my boobies. This was in August.

Personal Space

2005-02-22T19:42:00.000-08:00

Average American personal space: 17 inches
Average English personal space: 24 inches
Average Middle Eastern personal space: 11 inches

And the English think we're pushy. ;p

In personal news: the Divorce. I've been doing pretty well I think, except for that every time I tell another friend or acquaintance what's going on (I'm letting it out kinda slowly) I just want to cry about it again. Nothing wrong with that I guess. But I'm the queen of supression--I'd just rather not think about things sometimes.

I have my library card number memorized. I wasn't trying to memorize it. I feel really dorky now.

And ooo...got another old disposable camera developed. Let's see if I can upload something from Renaissance Faire this past summer...

I better go do my homework. I'll reward myself with a decaf latte and maybe a fuzzy poster!

Things That Make Me Happy Today

2005-02-21T18:59:00.000-08:00

1. Talking to friends.
2. Seeing that people have commented in my blog. :)
3. Peanut butter on bananas.
4. Orville Redenbacher's Kettle Corn.
5. Reading.
6. Watching Brenna spy on our neighbors across the lake with binoculars. "They're taking photos of each other in their swimsuits! They must be freezing!"
7. Spending the afternoon watching a dumb but entertaining movie (Constantine) and then feeling irrationally superior for knowing to stay after the credits.
8. Checking out my blog's tracking stats. (People read this! Maybe I should think of something better to write about.)
9. Coffee!
10. Watching old Janet Jackson music videos and dancing around in my basement a lot. Black Cat is her greatest song by far.

"What have you done for me lately? Ooo, oo-oo-ooo-yeah!"

As soon as my leg wakes up again, I just may go Dance Dance Revolution...

The Chinese Language

2005-02-20T09:43:00.000-08:00

Because I can't bear to stay too sad and leave on a sour note today, here's an excerpt from a book I'm reading, Breaking the Tongue by Vyvyan Loh:

Chinese is a language that floats. No tenses, no moods, no declensions or inflexions, syntax malleable. Read left to right it can mean one thing, right to left another. A Chinese character is flexible--now a verb, now a noun, an adjective, an adverb--an actor comfortable in all parts. Its nature is architectural; meaning is designed by relative position, by auxiliary words, parallel beams, juxtaposed elements. Tone is critical, as is perspective. A word is not just a word--it is a made image of the world, an idol to be venerated. Chinese is often spoken with the index finger painting strokes in the air, pictures that reveal all and nothing: the perfect vehicle for poets, historians, rulers and spies. (p. 90)

I just thought that was beautiful. I have learned some Chinese, and I have fallen hard for this wonderful language. No other language that I've encountered arouses quite the same feelings from me that Mandarin does.